How to reduce stress? Stop trying. Start living.
Many of my clients come to therapy saying, "I'm always stressed." It means they are trying to fit the world in your box set by other people's expectations. You are a tiny spec in this universe, and you are trying to change the world for other people's likings while burning your life. It is like a captain of a tiny boat wishing to control the ocean and the weather with ever-changing directions. A seasoned captain pays attention to the weather and takes care of the boat, then rides the waves rather than fighting them in the direction he wants. Indeed, it takes effort to respond to life challenges, but this way, you will be able to do everything passionately without feeling stressed.
Feeling Stressed?
At work, your performance is evaluated by if you are "meeting the expectations" or not. When you were young, you were busy meeting your parents' expectations then teachers. During adolescence, you were busy meeting your friends' or peers' expectations, and now you are trying to meet everyone else's expectations. What are the expectations? Do you know them?
The expectations at work constantly change like the company's earnings forecast. Even when your income grows from $100K to $1 million, you don't become satisfied since the expectation of the people changed again. It becomes a perpetual chase to the moving target. No wonder you feel stressed.
First, stop trying to live to meet other people's expectations.
Stop. Simply stop the endless trying. Take a breath and pay attention to what's happening around and within you. You may feel a strong urge to sprint again. Then relax your body and experience the world as it happens. You don't need to do anything until you become clear of the world and your own expectations. Running in a hamster wheel doesn't get you anywhere. So stop first. It doesn't mean you have to quit your job or get divorced. You do your work and live life with your family. Simply stop trying to be something other than what you are.
Second, with clear awareness, get to know yourself.
While you are maintaining regular daily routines, pay attention to yourself. How are your thoughts working? How do your emotions come and go? What does your body say about your habits? What does make you excited and joyful? Like the seasoned captain knows every little thing about the boat, you need to know your status, including psychological and behavioral tendencies. If you live your life while consciously paying attention to the world and yourself, with the clarity of mindfulness, you will be able to see the natures and patterns of your thoughts and emotions. Now you have the opportunity to play with them rather than stay enslaved by them.
Then, Consciously create the life you want – it is not all easy, but you become passionate in everything you do.
Now you know your boat and the ocean. You know how it works and are ready to sail on in the direction you want. A Destination or Purpose of your life? You don't need them. All final destination is Death. Why are you so rushed? Your thoughts give you clarity, your emotions provide you energy and connection, your life is invigorating for you to be able to ride big waves. Everyone around you in a balanced mind is happy to have you near you and partner with you.
Your old habits will come back whenever they can. With mindfulness, you can recognize them and skillfully respond to them as you go on since you know how they work. Since you create the life you want, you become passionate about everything you do, which is true com-passion.