Challenge your beliefs - the “Don’t Know” mind
If I talked to you for 5 seconds, then declared that I know you, what would you say? Now, what % of the world have you experienced? Then how can you say you know anything? Even when it happened multiple times, it doesn’t mean it will always happen.
Once you recognize you “Don’t Know” anything in its entirety, now you have opportunities to know. When you fall in love, you pay attention to the person in detail, and do what’s needed. Do the same everyday, falling in love with your life. This is how you can live your life in full.
Do you really know what you believe is true?
Often clients told me, “I am this way,” “people can’t be trusted,” “my life is already doomed,” or “I cannot but to be this way.” Then I asked, “what happened, so you come to believe this?” Of course, you can believe anything you want, but it doesn’t mean it is impenetrable truth. Furthermore, once you believe anything, it means you have given up the opportunity actually to know.
Let’ do simple math. What percentage of everything happening in this universe have you experienced? Even if you attained all the knowledge on earth, what percentage of the knowledge out of this universe? For your reference, scientists say Dark Matter is thought to be 85% of the universe, and they have no clue what it is. So, deductive reasoning tells us that we know practically nothing about this universe. But, we think we know it all.
Additionally, your perception is not the fact or truth.
Some say “seeing is believing,” but our mindset and physical status skew our perception. For example, you may assume judicial reviews are based on facts and legal matters. Still, a behavioral study proves that’s not the case. Experienced judges made favorable rulings for parole hearing about 65% of the time after their meals; then, it dropped gradually down to zero as the session continued. In the same way, when you are happy, you will see things more positively, and when you are hangry, you will perceive things negatively.
Confirmation bias is real. You will only see things that support your beliefs, not others.
It works like a curse. When you believe you will mess up, you will count it as “evidence” when things didn’t work out, but you will disregard the occasion when you did well, calling it an outlier. When you believe people will not like you, you will walk away even when someone shows interest in you, saying they will be disappointed in the end and take it as another “evidence” of people not liking you. You can read this article for more information on confirmation bias.
The worst part of believing is that you are saying, “I know what will happen tomorrow since I lived yesterday!”
Really? Do you know what will happen tomorrow? Believing means you have given up the opportunity to know. You can forecast, assuming all the variables will be constant. But how many variables are in this universe, and how many can you compute? As I shared in the previous blog, our intellect is not a good tool to figure out this world. Were you able to predict when you fell in love? Did you know how it actually felt when you had your first baby? Our thoughts can only run in the dumpster of memory, and you don’t have any memory of tomorrow.
How to practice “Don’t Know” mind
Recognize you don’t know it all and open up – When you feel fear, anxiety, avoidance, or defensiveness, recognize them and say to yourself, “I don’t know, and it is all good.” Recognize it is just your perception. Remind yourself that the past is the past, and it is ok to be open to this moment. Some people call it vulnerability or courage.
Pay attention and engage – Pay attention to what’s happening in front of you. See how people are interacting and what’s needed from you. Then engage and do what is needed rather than what you feel like. It is like when you fall in love. You pay attention to your partner in every detail and do what is needed at the moment.
Keep your past as a reference - It doesn’t mean to discount your past. Just keep it as a reference, not truth until proven. I am not saying your memory is all false or needs to be forgotten. However, if we use our memory as a reference like a history that is reviewed and processed properly, our past works as wisdom, not ever-lasting wounds.